My psychologist is going to be away from his office for some time. Until he returns from his time off it will be two months before I see him again. This fact makes me nervous.
Therapy has given me the tools to better accept my diagnosis of bipolar disorder and I have realized that I have a large role in my recovery. Most of what I do depends on my view of the world. I learned that bipolar disorder does not control me. I control bipolar disorder by my decisions and actions.
I put a major amount of effort into changing the way I think about the situations around me. I am not used to holding back what I am feeling; extreme anger, happiness, and sadness. I have been fast to react to all situations most of my life. Toning down my reactions is a battle. I have to take the time to stop and calm myself to behave like the "normal people" of the world instead of blowing up in anger, getting overenthusiastic about mundane things, or crying over things that I cannot control.
The other day I told my psychologist that he has had a negative impact on my blog. Before I started therapy, I used to blog two to three times a week. I feel that blogging is a good place for me to let my thoughts and feelings out. When I started therapy, I began sharing many things during my sessions instead of on my blog. It is nice to have a discussion instead of the one-sided conversation of a blog.
At this moment, I am nervous that I will not have the opportunity to speak to my psychologist for an extended amount of time. It will be a relief to me when he returns. After my hiatus from therapy I have no doubt that I will have an abundance of things to discuss with him when he returns.