Saturday, November 15, 2014

It's All About Interpretation

Kelly Clarkson is one of my favorite artists. I find that I identify with many of her songs. The lyrics move me. 

Sharing your thoughts can be hard. The perfect words are often difficult to find. Sometimes a song is a good way to express how you feel.

Here are a few songs that, to me, pertain to my life with bipolar disorder...

This song makes me think of who I was before I knew that I had bipolar disorder. I was confident and sure of myself. I felt security in who I thought I was. After getting my diagnosis, I feel like I am a mess of mixed emotions. I pretend that I am doing well despite my condition. Although this song is about the end of a relationship, in my mind, I see it as my new self being heartbroken about the battle with letting go of the old me.

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me,
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside

This song makes me think about the need to let go of something that means a great deal to former self. Looking back at the experiences that have I encountered before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I realize that it is better to leave the old me behind in order to allow my new self to blossom and flourish. I have to take myself out of my past life situations and move on, no matter how much it hurts, because it is the right thing to do. 

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high,
It never would've worked out right (Yea)
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

This song makes me think of feeling alone only to find out that there are many more people in the world just like me. People with a bipolar disorder do not have to feel as if they need hide their disorder and keep their struggles private. The hardships we deal with everyday are only temporary. As individuals, we are fighting a lonely battle. If we are able to find others in the same situation, working together, we could make a difference in the world. 

People Like Us

We come into this world unknown
But know that we are not alone
They try and knock us down
But change is coming, it's our time now

Hey... everybody loses it,
Everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes
And hey... yeah I know what you're going through
Don't let it get the best of you, you'll make it out alive

People like us we've gotta stick together
Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever
Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten
It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
We are all misfits living in a world on fire
Oh woah oh oh woah oh
Sing it for the people like us, the people like us

Hey, this is not a funeral
It's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage
Just wait, everything will be okay
Even when you're feeling like it's going down in flames

They can't do nothing to you, they can't do nothing to me
This is the life that we choose, this is the life that we bleed
So throw your fists in the air, come out, come out if you dare
Tonight we're gonna change forever
Everybody loses it, everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes

These songs may not mean much to anyone who listens to them. I would be surprised if anyone who reads this blog post will actually take the time to watch the music videos in their entirety and read the lyrics. I don't think that these songs will hold the same importance for anyone else than it does for me.

I realize that I skewed the intended messages of the writers for these songs to cater to my own unique situation. Not everyone will have the same interpretations for these songs. They have had different meanings for me during different times of my life. It all depended on the situation that I was experiencing while I was listening to the song. For me, these songs are meaningful. Even if this blog post does not affect anyone else's person is touched by these words...that person is me.

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