One of the best things that you can do is research your disorder. Read books. Read articles on the internet. Read blogs from other people who have the same illness. These resources can help you understand bipolar disorder. Knowledge is of utmost importance. If you are informed about your condition, it will make dealing with it easier.
I don't have all the answers to your questions. I don't have any secrets that will help you with your problems. I don't have the knowledge to tell you how to make your life easier. I am just as confused as you are when it comes to living life with bipolar disorder.