It's All About Interpretation

Kelly Clarkson is one of my favorite artists. I find that I identify with many of her songs. The lyrics move me. 

Sharing your thoughts can be hard. The perfect words are often difficult to find. Sometimes a song is a good way to express how you feel.

Here are a few songs that, to me, pertain to my life with bipolar disorder...

This song makes me think of who I was before I knew that I had bipolar disorder. I was confident and sure of myself. I felt security in who I thought I was. After getting my diagnosis, I feel like I am a mess of mixed emotions. I pretend that I am doing well despite my condition. Although this song is about the end of a relationship, in my mind, I see it as my new self being heartbroken about the battle with letting go of the old me.

Behind These Hazel Eyes

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me,

I used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight

Everything, it felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything

Opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright

For once in my life

Now all that's left of me

Is what I pretend to be

So together, but so broken up inside

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore

This song makes me think about the need to let go of something that means a great deal to me...my former self. Looking back at the experiences that have I encountered before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I realize that it is better to leave the old me behind in order to allow my new self to blossom and flourish. I have to take myself out of my past life situations and move on, no matter how much it hurts, because it is the right thing to do. 

Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories, they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high,

It never would've worked out right (Yea)

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then

We could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so

I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone

You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong

I'm already gone, already gone

There's no moving on so I'm already gone

This song makes me think of feeling alone only to find out that there are many more people in the world just like me. People with a bipolar disorder do not have to feel as if they need hide their disorder and keep their struggles private. The hardships we deal with everyday are only temporary. As individuals, we are fighting a lonely battle. If we are able to find others in the same situation, working together, we could make a difference in the world. 

People Like Us

We come into this world unknown

But know that we are not alone

They try and knock us down

But change is coming, it's our time now

Hey... everybody loses it,

Everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes

And hey... yeah I know what you're going through

Don't let it get the best of you, you'll make it out alive

Ohh

People like us we've gotta stick together

Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever

Here's to the damned, to the lost and forgotten

It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom

Oh woah oh oh woah oh

We are all misfits living in a world on fire

Oh woah oh oh woah oh

Sing it for the people like us, the people like us

Hey, this is not a funeral

It's a revolution, after all your tears have turned to rage

Just wait, everything will be okay

Even when you're feeling like it's going down in flames

They can't do nothing to you, they can't do nothing to me

This is the life that we choose, this is the life that we bleed

So throw your fists in the air, come out, come out if you dare

Tonight we're gonna change forever

Everybody loses it, everybody wants to throw it all away sometimes

These songs may not mean much to anyone who listens to them. I would be surprised if anyone who reads this blog post will actually take the time to watch the music videos in their entirety and read the lyrics. I don't think that these songs will hold the same importance for anyone else than it does for me.

I realize that I skewed the intended messages of the writers for these songs to cater to my own unique situation. Not everyone will have the same interpretations for these songs. They have had different meanings for me during different times of my life. It all depended on the situation that I was experiencing while I was listening to the song. For me, these songs are meaningful. Even if this blog post does not affect anyone else's emotions...one person is touched by these words...that person is me.