Tuesday, December 30, 2014

How To Feel About It?

I have already gotten my results about whether or not I have bipolar disorder.

The thing is, my mind has been blank lately because I have been alerted that I do not meet the criteria. I mean, I don’t even know if my thinking is just normal hyperactivity like other kids or something else.

I still act as I did before figuring out my results but now I feel uneasy about it because I am still not sure of where I am placed on ‘this little chart of disorders’.

I am aware that I may not have bipolar disorder because it is too early to be diagnosed for it. I don’t like the idea of not knowing until later in life to see if I show more signs of it. I have never liked the idea of waiting or the whole idea of patience at all.

Even though the diagnosis hasn't done anything to change me, things feel different already.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it just does. Maybe it’s just the feeling of being aware.
But no more of that, let’s talk about my ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) diagnosis.

That diagnosis wasn't really a surprise for me because I've always been hyper. I already thought that I had it so it doesn't really affect me that much. I get easily distracted, like during this blog. As I wrote this, I was listening to a conversation between my parents. I was just joking around a bit, but I acted as if I was with my friends. It made everything a bit weird. Well, for me at least.

My teachers now know I have ADHD, so it makes it hard when I’m having a blast in the class, not even realizing how loud and rowdy I have gotten. I’m just thinking out loud. It has become part of my schedule to be told to be quiet by a teacher and it has grown onto me so it doesn't bother me. But I feel as if one day I’ll slip up and I’ll get into trouble with my disruptive behavior. But being me, of course, I always never think about those details until later.  Well, not normally until the problem passes by or figures itself out.

I always get off scot-free, for some reason..  But I shall not complain because I guess it's pretty cool.

Well, until later.
In a while, Crocodile.


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